012: Easter is Always April Fools’ Day

Overview

This year Easter is April Fools’ Day. So, from the Korea with the most jacked Jesus on a stick in the world and from the city where Jesus probably did most of the work building your house, Paul and Wayne discuss the myth, the mystery, the legend…Jesus…sort of. Additionally, they talk about the origins of Easter and how they think Easter is always April Fools’ Day.

Audio Direct Link: https://audioboom.com/posts/6754323-easter-is-always-april-fools-day.mp3

(You can hear more about how Paul and Wayne see religion on Episode 06 – Pie Jesu Domine )

Chit-Chat (01:52)

Paul receives a birthday gift that requires more time to fix than it did to find the damn thing, and he tries out wrasslin’ again.  Wayne finds an actual wrassler in an unlikely place and some geode-inspiration in a likely place.

Relatively Recent News (06:57)

Paul’s Meme (10:41)

Who the fuck is Jack? I have to wonder if Jack is code for Jesus.

Si Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame saying, "Hey, look here, focus on Jesus this Easter. I shot the Easter bunny last rabbit season anyways, Jack!"

He’s like the air. You can’t see him.  You can just feel him.

I don’t want to hear any of your fucking science!

It seems all made up to me.

What’s really mysterious is how to figure out when Easter happens.

We go back to The First Council of Nicaea. They set up two rules:

1) They wanted to become independent from the Jewish Calendar.

2) They wanted uniformity.

c) They wanted to fuck little boys.

Easter is on the first Sunday after the ecclesiastical full moon that occurs on or soonest after March 21st.

Let’s just figure out a day…like Christmas.

Easter is supposed to be the celebration of the resurrection of the Christian Jesus the Christ.

Jesus is not the only religious figure to resurrect.

Jesus is special because sex sells.

Peter was the first pope.

The Easter Bunny was introduced to the United States by German immigrants.

None these traditions are Biblical; so, of course, the church co-opted them.

Osterhaus is German for platypus.

The creature lays its colored eggs in nests.

Buddha is a famished mythical figure who came to give you things.

CCE-PCS=CSGCECDSJS

This Easter is April Fucking Fools’ Day!

(We’re pretty sure Easter is always April Fools’ Day.)

It’s all a 2,000-year old joke!!!

The Sabbath is on Saturday.

Background:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre
http://www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends/ancient-pagan-origins-easter-001571
https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/easter-symbols

Wayne’s Meme (18:21)

I really wanted to tell the story of Easter from The Bible’s perspective.

Jesus with arms outstretched saying, "I'm going to create man and woman with original sin. Then I'm going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born. Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself. To save you from the sin I originally condemned you to. Ta dah!!!"

Jesus on a cross, blood. Caption below says, "Christianity. The belief that a cosmic Jewis Zombie...by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree... yeah, makes perfect sense."

Background:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+2-3&version=NIV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+1&version=NIV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+1&version=NIV
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible

It’s double penetration.

You have to hop across the Gospels in order to get the whole story.

That’s Jim Caviezel. I thought you said it was Jesus.

In the Book of Genesis Chapters 2 and 3, YHWH created Adam and Eve.

In Chapter 3 God infects Adam, Eve and all humanity with a terminal illness.

We can’t all be Freddy Krueger.

In Matthew Chapter 1 and Luke Chapter 1, YHWH had non-consensual sex with Mary.

Having sex with a woman after she’s had sex with God makes a man feel eternally inadequate.

Mary then gave birth to YWHW so that he could commit suicide.

Even speaking the word “midi-chlorian” is blasephemy!

No True Scotsman fallacies always defeat Paul.

He did all of this to give people the cure for the disease he infected them with.

Paul incorrectly cites the Dick Sucking Manual.

You can only get the cure for the disease if you promise to worship YWHW forever.

I don’t know if he’s mentally disturbed, if he’s a mentally disturbed dictator, or if he’s just an abusive spouse?

If we believe The Bible, evil is a thing that was made.

What kind of sadistic being would do that?

Fortunately, communion cracker don’t transfigure into Jesus’ foreskin.  After all, he was Jewish.

We should form a council to sort all this shit out.

Religion will die if it doesn’t have followers.

You have to get them while they’re young. If you do, you can keep them longer.

BL: It’s all about the Benjamins.

Easter eggs are another great way to catch James Woods.

The Pope and a priest using a hollow church as a stick and box trap, using eggs as bait for the children in the distance.

Religion will die if it doesn’t have followers.

You have to get them while they’re young. If you do, you can keep them longer.

BL: It’s all about the Benjamins.

Easter eggs are another great way to catch James Woods.

Background:

http://journeyfree.org/childhood-religious-indoctrination/
http://atheistfoundation.org.au/article/overcoming-religious-indoctrination-6-steps-towards-sanity/

Special:  Jebus Jeopardy (29:00)

With over 7,000 episodes to date, Jeopardy! is objectively one of the best game shows on television; so, why wouldn’t Paul want to play? The topic of the day: Craziest Fucking Easter Traditions in The World”. Wayne takes it right up the ass for zero, Alex.

Background:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeopardy!
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/604840/easter-2017-crucifixion-whipping-fire-fights-traditions-world-video

Farewell and Gratitudes

We want to thank Xavier Lee and Mark Calvin for the fluffers behind MēMē Call. Also, we want to welcome Aidan Clancy to our writing team. Thanks to our newest patron, Christopher Callahan, and as always, we want to thank the Blue Tits. Last, but not least, thank you for listening. 

Tell your friends and family about this podcast and ask them to subscribe. Leave us a review on iTunes or at memecallpodcast.com, and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Paul Pascal
Wayne Valley
@lingobeastwayne

For as little as $1 per episode, you can support us on Patreon, help keep the show going, and get access to patron-only content. You don’t have to agree that Easter is always April Fools’ Day to support creativity and free speech.

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